PopJunk Movies Podcast: Summer Preview

•April 23, 2014 • 1 Comment

PopsummerThe Can-Am connection takes control of the podcast this week as Adam is joined by Thomas Wishloff of Sunset Rising Productions and they discuss the upcoming crop of Summer Movies for 2014.  Adam sounds like his pod-casting from a metal box but since they’re pod-casting from different time zones it’s not so bad.  Adam and Tom also try and predict who is going to be the big money makers of the summer of 2014 and who’s gonna be “The Bomb” Enjoy from the link below and scroll down for show notes.

http://agrover81.podomatic.com/entry/2014-04-23T16_14_17-07_00

List of movies for summer 2014.

Amazing Spiderman 2
Godzilla
X-Men Days of Future Past
A Million Ways to Die in the West
Maleficent
Edge of Tomorrow
22 Jump Street
How to Train Your Dragon 2
Transformers Age of Extinction
Tammy
Dawn of the Planet of The Apes
Jupiter Ascending
Planes: Fire and Rescue
The Purge: Anarchy
Hercules
Sex Tape
Guardians of the Galaxy
Lucy
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The Expendables 3
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

I said I would never do an episode over the computer, color me a big fat liar.

Me and Tom do a survivor podcast called “The Blindsided Podcast. You can find it here: http://www.sunsetrising.net/ or itunes.

MY$$$$$$$$$$$$$$LIST

1.) How to Train Your Dragon (400, 90) 2.) X-Men: Days of Futures Past (375, 110) 3.) Transformers 4 (350, 105) 4.) Godzilla (310, 90) 5.) Amazing Spider Man II (305, 09) 6.) 22 Jump Street (300, 50) 7.) Maleficent (250, 60) 8.) Guardians of the Galaxy (230, 75) 9.) Edge of Tomorrow (200,60) 10.) Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (175, 40)

I already regret Maleficent….no one’s going to see that :(

Pop Junk Podcast Leftovers: Captain American The Winter Soldier

•April 22, 2014 • Leave a Comment

PopCapCheck out our review of Captain American The Winter Soldier at the link below. After 10 minutes be prepared for Spoilers.

http://agrover81.podomatic.com/entry/2014-04-16T17_12_01-07_00

Game Of Thrones – S4 – E3 “Breaker of Chains” A Game of Thrones Reviewcap By Sagebeth

•April 22, 2014 • Leave a Comment

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“You’ll never read well if you move your lips – That’s how children do it”

THAT TIME WE PICKED UP RIGHT WHERE WE LEFT OFF
“Money buys a man’s silence for a time, a bolt in the heart buys it forever,”-Littlefinger being himself
The episode begins with the epic end of last week installment: Yay for character death! King Joffrey Baratheon is no more and most small animals of Westros rejoice in the prospect of a long life which is the opposite of Mama lion Lannister, Ex-Queen Regent Cersei, who completely loses her mind with grief right there next to her sons dead body. She practically seethes with anger blaming Tyrion for the murder and calling for his immediate arrest right there in the middle of the broken up feast. They almost immediately begin looking for his child-bride Sansa but it seems naive poor little dove Sansa has finally decided to make a move by following her drunken fool friend Dontos away from the murder scene at his bidding. Now this was a move that was both smart and cunning so obviously it was neither Sansa or Dontos that thought of it. As they escape King’s Landing by boat they end up surrounded by fog as they reach their destination: LITTLEFINGER ON A BOAT. Gasp. I don’t know why I didn’t suspect this cold calculating worm of a man to be involved in Joffrey’s murder which is what made this reveal utterly worth it.
Littlefinger oozes slime even when he is trying to be comforting as he tells Sansa she is finally safe now – with him – gulp. Dontos pipes up from his rowboat that he should be leaving but he wants to be paid first. Moron. Littlefinger has his men shoot Dontos dead and Sansa completely freaks in a predictable but needed way. Littlefinger, still completely loving both reassuring and terrifying Sansa, informs her that Dontos didn’t truly care about her because he was following his instructions which is not a fair claim when one of the individuals is dead but is also super cool because that means Littlefinger has been playing a huge role in events off screen. He goes even further revealing her gifted heirloom necklace from Dontos as being actually some flimsy gift of his design — LATER REVELATION! It was probably used to carry poison! Coolness. But there is also something completely not coolness and that is poor Sansa’s eternal position as a captive of some kind. She escapes the Lannisters and King’s Landing for a whole minute before finding herself stuck with Littlefinger. Damn.

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THAT TIME #RAPECEST
“A man who thinks that winning and ruling are the same thing…”-Tywin on King Robert
The Tyrell women are in their usual seaside Garden hangout as Margaery laments the loss of a second kingly would-be husband. She is truly in shock and rightfully worries at her own future prospects but Grandma Olenna has some words of wisdom: “The world is overflowing with horrible things but they’re all a tray of cakes next to death” and “You may not have enjoyed watching him die but you enjoyed it more than you would have enjoyed being married to him.” Hahaha. So it seems to the Queen of Thornes that it is all about perspective. Speaking of dead kings…

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We get one more moment with the corpse of Joffrey all decked out in his ceremonial er-uh-dead stuff in the Great Sept of Baelor where poor Joff just had his wedding. Don’t worry he doesn’t even get any real respect now in death. Cersei is in full on mourning mode with her youngest son Tommen at her side, and Tywin wastes no time getting his paws on Tommen – the next King. Cersei objects, and for once she is right, as this is not the time nor the place but she is utterly ignored. Tywin quizzes young Tommen on what qualities make a good king. After being wrong a bunch of times Tommen stumbles on the right answer of “wisdom” which Tywin points out was not a quality of Joffrey’s. Sigh. This is super harsh on the still present Cersei who is trying to mourn literally over her dead sons body while her father takes away her other son – no seriously – Tywin leads Tommen out of the room just as Jaime enters. Bonus sidenote: The last thing we hear of their conversation is Tywin about to give him a sex talk. Amazing. The Kingslayer tells EVERYONE to leave the Sept for the grieving Cersei and in response his dear sister asks him to kill their brother Tyrion believing he is responsible for killing Joffrey but Jaime is not as sure at Tyrion’s guilt. Then they begin to make-out, probably Cersei’s go to move for convincing Jaime to do stuff, but she abruptly wants the sexy-action to stop the moment his fake hand touches her face. This pushes some bizarre button in Jaime’s head as he asks the gods why they made him love a hateful woman before forcing himself on Cersei. It begins completely non-consensual but somewhere around the middle Cersei’s feelings seem less decided. I really should just say rapecest and move on but I must reiterate that Jaime raped or nearly-raped his sister next to their dead sons corpse. Ah – True Love.

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THAT TIME DEAD MEN DIDN’T NEED SILVER
“I just understand the way things are … how many Starks do they got to behead before you figure it out?”-The Hound keeping it real
On the road hijinks this week with Arya and the Hound gave us a clear reminder that the Hound is not a moral center and it annoys the still slightly honorable Arya. Basically they meet a nice single dad farmer and his young daughter when they rest on their property and Arya smooths over the whole thing by pretending the Hound is her father and that he fought for the Tullys. It works too well as the kindly farmer invites them to stay at his house and share a meal with them. During said meal, after Arya and the Hound do their comedic messy eating routine, the farmer also offers the Hound pay for honest work. Mistake. Later on the Hound robs the man, and his reason to Arya is that the man is too weak to survive so the cute little family is as good as dead anyway come winter. It is very true – that they do not look like ‘winter’ people. So lesson learned? Or fracture in this duo?
THAT TIME WE WERE HAVING POTATOES FOR DINNER AND THEN EVERYONE DIED
“Thank you – For worrying about me” – Gilly being cute
We get a sort of hilarious reminder that most of the men in the Nights Watch are prisoners and rapists as someone like names all of them in the courtyard of Castle Black – “Raper. Thief. Raper. Raper. 9th son. Raper”. Someone who didn’t need reminding was Sam who is spending most of his time worrying about Gilly and her lady parts safety. When he tries to explain his worry over the men even thinking about her she actually throws down a romantic gauntlet and asks him his exclusive thoughts on it. It’d be better if the answer wasn’t that Sam is too busy thinking about men thinking about her to actually think about her. Sigh. So his big answer to this is to take Gilly and her baby to Molestown and set her up in whorehouse as a helper. Dumb idea but I don’t know what the answer should actually be. He makes sure to tell the owner that Gilly is not do any sexy-times work and leaves his crush alone in a cold room with no bed and an open window. This all seems like a terrible idea.
At a nearby village a nice family discusses their sweet plans to make some potatoes for dinner that night. It is so sickeningly sweet we should have known nearly everyone on screen was about to be slaughtered. Ygritte, heartbroken and ready for actual blood, and her fellow wildlings raid the village and kill everyone in their path. Well everyone except for one small boy who they send to Castle Black to try to lure the crows out to fight them. Ser Thorne rightfully calls bullshit on this and for one Jon Snow agrees that they need to stay at their vigil at the Wall. Unfortunately this is too clean so Jon’s buddies who were on the right side of the mutiny at Crasters last season come crashing back home. They had been kept as prisoners by the assholes that took over at Crasters. Now Jon knows they can’t stay at the wall, at least all of them because he knows if Mance gets his hands on the mutineers at Crasters they will find out how unmanned the wall actually is. Eep. Who do you think will volunteer?

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THAT TIME DAVOS HAD A EUREKA MOMENT
“They don’t have enough men between them to raid a pantry” -Stannis the King of Comedy
Stannis is celebrating his magic bastard blood leech curse working by killing Joffrey so of course he only looks mildly amused. Davos has done his best to raise him a new army but nothing he does can beat magic leech blood curse so he seemingly can’t win. He leaves to go to his reading lesson with Shireen aka Lobster-Girl and somehow the conversation veers to discussing the Iron Bank of Braavos (The same bank the current crown owes millions of gold to) which inspires Davos! He asks Shireen to pen a letter impersonating her father to get their attention. Cool cool cool. Also funny to imagine the bank getting a letter from Stannis is pink silly little girl handwriting with flower doodles.

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THAT TIME TYWIN DENIED IT CATEGORICALLY
“When it comes to war I fight for Dorne, when it comes to love I don’t chose sides” -Oberyn
I had sort of complained when we didn’t get the much anticipated foursome between Prince Oberyn, Ellaria, and some whores back in episode one so of course I was over the moon that we got another sexual encounter for the new couple: FIVESOME. Then in a move I should have anticipated, much like Tyrion walking in on Oberyn in the whorehouse back in episode one, Tywin totally walks into this sex-fest. Only Tywin could break up such an orgy without batting an eyelash. Was this right after his sex talk with Tommen? He questions Oberyn about Joffrey’s murder and he either doesn’t suspect Oberyn or believes his innocence. Oberyn not wanting to miss this opportunity threw back the Mountain possibly raping and murdering his sister in the past. Tywin has the gall to deny the entire thing – I could believe that he didn’t want her viciously raped but he most certainly gave the order for her death IMO. Tywin however is clever and uses the whole charade to offer something to Oberyn: He will set up some one on one time for him and the Mountain if Oberyn serves on the jury panel for Joffrey’s murder. Hell – Tywin throws in a seat on the small council to seal the deal. Wow. This was absolutely not how I pictured this going down. Time to play the ace, Tywin finally admits to fearing the oncoming storm that is Dany and her growing dragons in the east. They need Dorne to present a strong front to her and he rightfully points out that the Dornish people were the only kingdom to never truly be conquered by Targaryens. Oberyn is left speechless for the first time since we met him. Tywin really is always the smartest guy in the room.
What about everyone’s favorite prisoner you say? Tyrion is currently under lock and key where Podrick comes to visit him bearing hidden food and updates on life outside captivity. None of the news is good: Trial soon. Oberyn on the jury. Sansa is gone. He can call his own witnesses but he cannot see Bronn. He awesomely knows if Sansa had any involvement she had no idea, and most of all knows Cersei is not guilty which is ironic because she is the one person who is absolutely certain of his guilt. Until this moment I had held out hope that this trial might actually be fair until Pod revealed that someone attempted to bribe him into testifying against Tyrion. Uh-Oh. Proving yet again at how awesome Tyrion is as a person he immediately begs Podrick to flee Kings Landing before he can be harmed because of this craziness. Lets hope he does! At least they got a heart felt goodbye.

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THAT TIME HORSES WERE DUMBER THAN MEN
“I bring your enemies what they deserve” -Dany being boss
Finally Dany and her army has reached Mereen which is protected by super high walls, as rich folks sit and watch Dany like she is a puppeteer. They send out a chosen champion who fully taunts Dany which epically ends with him pissing in the sand. Someone needs to tell this guy that this bitch eats horse hearts and shit for fun. All of her close advisers want to kill this guy and act as her champion but they are all too important to risk so her favorite suitor Daario steps up fully knowing how cool he is about to get. He winks at Dany before he begins his fight with the challenger, who rides a horse full speed at Daario who is just standing there sunbathing. Then right as the horse nears he quickly kisses a dagger before throwing it at the horse. The rider is thrown and a cloud of sand bellows around as Daario kills him. Sweet. This wins my favorite BLOODING OF THE WEEK and trust me I’m just as surprised as you that it was Daario. In an ode to the now dead champion Daario also pisses in the sand. Lovely. Dany steps up now and addresses her audience except she isn’t talking to the masters but all their slaves. She plants the idea of some sort of uprising (“Your enemy is beside you”) as she discusses freedom and what she wants for them. Then she catapults a bunch of wooden crates over the walls and when the break open it is revealed to be filled with all of the broken collars of the slaves she has been finding at every mile marker on her way to Mereen. A final shot of a slave picking up one of the broken collars thoughtfully as a master looks on warily. Dany – I love how you approach every city/battle in a special and different way. This might just refresh your storyline.

NEXT WEEK QUICKIE: CERSEI STILL HATES SANSA. JAIME DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO DO. JON SNOW IS STILL A BASTARD FYI. CRASTERS KEEP THE SECOND GENERATION. BRIENNE IS STILL LARGE. WILL JAIME FIGHT FOR TYRION? BRONN!

Game Of Thrones – Season 4 -Episode 2 “The Lion And The Rose”

•April 15, 2014 • Leave a Comment

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“A toast to the proud Lannister children: The dwarf, the cripple, and the mother of madness” -Tyrion
A Game of Thrones Recapview By Sagebeth

With an epic main character death, a wedding, a human hunt, and good old burnings at the stake in the cards this episode, we won’t waste any of your time on pointless drivel and jump straight into a full recap.
THAT TIME RAMSEY SNOW DIRECTED HIS OWN HUNGER GAMES
“Theon was our enemy but Reek, Reek will never betray us”-Ramsey
“I place far too much trust in you”-Daddy Bolton

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We start the episode with everyone’s favorite villainous sociopath: Ramsey Snow. This is Roose Bolton’s bastard who burned Winterfel, tortured and broke Theon Greyjoy, and is an all around bad guy who derives too much joy out of others pain. We catch up with him as he chases a fleeing girl through the woods, insisting if she can escape she can have her life. She cries out, and literally runs for her life as Ramsey, his lover, two dogs, and Reek (Theon after hes been terribly broken even more off screen) chase after her. Are these the same two girls who sexually teased Theon back when he was being tortured before he was castrated? Apparently one has become Ramsey’s lover, Miranda, and has grown jealous of the other hence hunting her through the woods for no good reason. The little scene was unsettling in a good way for two reasons: Reek/Theon has become completely subjugated and follows his ‘master’ Ramsey like a pet dog and when this little hunting party eventually catches up to its very human innocent prey Ramsey decides to reward his war dogs by letting them rip her to shreds. Yummy. I missed this cheerful cute psychopath.

Back at the Dreadfort later on Roose Bolton is returning from his great betrayal of Robb Stark with his new fat wife Walda(?) Frey in tow (haha, paid by the pound). He also brought along one of his men Locke who is responsible for cutting off Jamie’s hand. Note: Locke and Ramsey are like BFFs of violence. After Ramsey joyfully greets his new “mother” he has to break the news to his father that he may have played with Theon/Reek a bit too much. He reveals some of the things he ‘took’ from him and also presents Reek to Roose. Daddy Bolton however isn’t pleased – because he’s not a complete psychopath and he needed Theon. Theon should have been a valuable hostage, and this Reek is a broken toy. He wanted to use Theon to trade for Moat Cailin, a strategic Northern collection of towers that the Iron born have invaded but now that idea totally doesn’t work. Ramsey, trying to not just win his fathers favor but also credit toward becoming a real heir to the Dreadfort, doesn’t apologize but shows Roose and Locke how well he’s trained his new pet Reek. He has Reek shave him and right in the middle of it he reveals that Robb Stark is dead. Theon/Reek pauses and for a split second you think he might just slit his new ‘masters’ throat but instead he just continues his job. Roose either impressed or bored tells Ramsey that he must take Moat Cailin to prove his worth. Ramsey also has Reek share the news about Bran and Rickon being very much alive and most likely with Jon Snow at Castle Black. Roose sends out his best hunter, Locke to find the boys for a hefty reward. I’d love to see how Jon Snow would react to this bullshit.

 

THAT TIME BREAKING UP WAS HARD TO DO AND PRESENTS TIME!
“Now that the war is won we should all find time for wisdom – thank you Uncle” -Joffrey screwing with Tyrion

Brothers, Tyrion and Jamie are finally sharing a scene since the first season and it lovely. Tyrion is actually in a great mood, and I chalk it up to spending time with his brother who is no longer perfect. This is evidenced by him dubbing his Lannister siblings as “The dwarf, the cripple, and the mother of madness”. However I also think Tyrion realizes that Jamie is his only family member who actually loves him. Jamie proves this by trusting him more than he has anyone else in Kings Landing by revealing that he can no longer fight without his sword hand. He wants to practice with his other hand but he doesn’t trust anyone to keep his secret about the whole “not being badass anymore” and probably kill him. Tyrion, always the fixer, decides to set Jamie up with his fave sellsword Bronn. In a secluded area near the ocean Bronn and Jamie meet up to practice and although Jamie is leery he also brought money for Bronn so it is all good. Oddly enough it is satisfying to see Jamie not be THAT awesome with his other hand but hopefully he’ll improve now.

Now while this is happening Tyrion learns from Varys that Shea has been found out by Cersei and Tywin so she’s in deep shizz. Tyrion hopes his ‘friend’ Varys will lie for him but the Spider is not ready nor willing to lie to Cersei or Tywin in case they were to suspect him. So in a move of absolutely fearing for her life Tyrion does the only thing he sees left to do: Horribly break up with her for her own good. Tyrion, obviously lying, literally wills the words out of his mouth. Shea, always the funny whore, tries to seduce him again but ends up getting faced when he offers her money, servants, and a house in Pentos. Shea continues to battle though so Tyrion finally lays into her about being a whore and not being suitable to bear his children unlike his child-bride Sansa. This is clearly hurting him more than her but she still stamps her feet like a child and basically pulls a hissy fit of sad tears as Bronn leads her to her waiting ship. Sad? Yes. Long time coming? Yes.

Presents time! During some morning wedding shower Joffrey gets some prezzies. Margaerys father gives them a gigantic golden goblet while Cersei points out Shea to her father who wants her brought to the Tower of the Hand before the wedding. Yikes.Tyrion gifts his nephew with a self-help book about becoming a better leader so Joffrey does the only logical thing he can think of: He takes his new Valyrian steel sword (a gift from his grandfather Tywin) and cuts that bitch in half. Tyrion did you seriously think Joffrey’s big problem was not enough reading? Speaking of his new sword he obviously wants to name it – Turns out the Hound was right in saying “lots of cunts name their swords”. He asks the crowd for help and one of them mentioned is “Widows Wail” which Joffrey loves because now every time he uses the sword it will be like taking off Ned Starks head all over again. Sansa sits there watching, always utterly powerless. Sigh.

 

THAT TIME STANNIS STILL HAD A CRAYCRAY WIFE, A LOBSTER DAUGHTER, AND A CRUSH ON THE LORD OF LIGHT
“There is only one hell princess, the one we live in now” -Melisandre

Melisandre is busy doing her usual business on Dragonstone and that is burning people alive as tokens of faith to the Lord of Light. One of the unlucky participants is actually Selyse’s (Stannis’s queen) brother which is a huge reminder at what a whack job this woman is. She marvels at the burnings, and reacts to her husband with her religious zealotry. Awesomely Stannis doesn’t even speak to her, just looking utterly bored with her crazy ranting. He walks away without a word and discusses all the bad shit he is doing with Davos. It’s actually very repetitive from last year as Davos plays the naive angel on Stannis’s shoulder while Stannis blindly follows Melisandre. Later at dinner they discuss the siege they lived through back during the rebellion and Melisandre has to sort of set the highborn lady straight that hunger is something that exists everywhere. Selyse is mostly worried/concerned with her daughters soul but truly she is just disgusted with her only living child who she calls stubborn and sinful. Stannis, getting quite protective says shes only a child and straight to Selyse that she is not to be touched. Selyse agrees readily enough but mentions that perhaps Melisandre could speak with her. So Melisandre enters the little girls room while shes in bed, thankfully not sleeping, and begins a pointless conversation with her while lighting all of the candles around her room literally ‘letting the light in’. Melisandre dubs a religious book about The Seven gods as lies and fables and explains her true two gods to little Shireen aka Cute Lobster girl. There is a god of light, love and joy and a god of darkness evil and fear. Silly scene just to remind people about the religious difference? Probably.

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THAT TIME BRANS PLOT ACTUALLY MOVED FORWARD AND VISIONS
“It must be glorious though; To run. To leap. To hunt. To be whole.”-Jojen being wise

We catch up with Team Bran as he watches the world through his direwolf Summers eyes. He runs, and jumps, and eats fresh meat so of course he is pissed when Hodor wakes him from his dream-walking. It wasn’t until now that I realized how unfair this must be to Bran who cannot walk. Of course he loves escaping into his animals – They must feel whole in comparison to himself. But alas Jojen always the wise soul warns Bran that if he stays too long in Summer he’ll forget himself inside of her. Bran pouts but this is forgotten when they continue their journey north of the wall. As they walk Summer seems very interested in a godswood tree so Bran follows his gut and bids Hodor to carry him to the tree. He sits at its base and slowly wargs into the tree – OMG AWESOME VISIONS ALERT! Brans sees a variety of actions since season one including a partial memory of his fall back in episode one which is cool because he couldn’t remember that at all. Most of his vision is a bunch of things that got people mega-excited in the season four trailer for the show but we also caught glimpses of Ned Stark, as well as part of Dany’s vision from the house of the undying being a broken down burnt out King’s Landing with either snow or ashes falling. The most tantalizing view though was a shadow of a great Dragon flying over King’s Landing – So is this still ultimately teasing Dany making it to Westros and unleashing her babies on the capital? The core of the vision though is the three-eyed crow communicating with Bran this time with a voice and bids Bran to continue North to find him under the “tree”. Perhaps its some massive godswood? So who actually is this three-eyed crow? Should Bran be wordlessly following his wishes? I supposed I’d listen to mysterious talking birds from visions too.

 

THAT TIME JOFFREY SAID THERE WAS TOO MUCH AMUSEMENT AT A WEDDING
“One heart. One flesh. One soul. Cursed be he who would seek to tear them asunder” -End of royal wedding ceremony

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Back in King’s Landing we get the much bragged about royal wedding between Joffrey and Margaery. It’s beautiful and literally everything looks super expensive and detailed. The new royal couple kisses and Tyrion tells Sansa that it is better Margaery than her which seemed like his subtle way of pointing out that even though he’s a suck choice for a husband at least he’s not Joffrey. Good point. Also around now is when we got some cool unique character-pairing conversations. This includes: Bronn reassuring Tyrion that he got Shea onto her boat out of Kings Landing. Tyrion still feels like caca though so Bronn insists he “Go drink until he until it feels like he did the right thing”. Ha-ha. Tywin and Lady Olenna are paired yet again and they are there to remind us that the crown is severely in debt to the Iron Bank of Braavos which is known to fund someones enemies if they don’t pay up. Tywin isn’t worried though and Olenna hilariously insists they enjoy the young love in the royal couple. Later Olenna approaches Sansa and gives her belated condolences for her families demise at the Red Wedding. Ironically she spouts “Killing a man at a wedding! Horrid. What sort of monster would do such a thing? As if men need more reasons to fear marriage”. Oh man Olenna you tricky bitch! Do you know what you are foreshadowing or not? Meanwhile Jamie reverts a bit by both being charming and threatening to Loras concerning his impending marriage to Cersei. Mind you poor Loras only ended up in this conversation because he accidentally walked into Jaime when he was making sexy-eyes at Prince Oberyn across the party.Loras you slut! I love him. Jamie warns him of the darkness awaiting him if he marries her but then he ultimately says she would never. Loras for once has a winning parting line and lets Jamie know he won’t be marrying her as well. Burn. Brienne attempts to congratulate Joffrey but he dismisses her with an irritated wave of his hand after realizing she didn’t kill Renly. Cersei wants to talk to this beanpole of a woman though. Much like Jamie, Cersei begins the conversation quite charmingly and right when Brienne is comfortable she slides in the threats. Cersei is crazy jealous concerning Jamie even though she essentially wrote him off in the last episode. I also have to share that she is jealous of Briennes strength and ability to defend herself without relying on a man. Later on after Margaery announces her plans to send all their leftovers from the feast to the poor of Kings Landing, and Cersei is about ready to swallow her own tongue. Her solution to battling this new ‘queen’ is by threatening Maester Pycelle – It seems her new interest in Qyburn has made her realize her dislike for Pycelle. She overrides the new queens decision, ordering him to use the leftovers to feed the dogs and if he doesn’t he will be used as dog food. Ugh. Cersei looks insanely proud of herself – too bad it won’t last. Her, and Tywin end up in a conversation with Obyern and Ellaria (who looks super sexy) and Obyern wastes no time insulting them with barbs about bastards, Cersei no longer being queen, Tywins wealth, and the Lannisters wartime crimes against his family. Tywin unexpectedly coasts past this instead of bullying him probably knowing the problems it could bring. Note: Oberyn also hints at Cersei’s own daughter who is married into his family in Dorne. Yikes.

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From here on out Joffrey will command absolutely all of our attention until the end of the episode and his life. A band plays a mournful version of the Rains of Castamere for their king and he awesomely throws coins harshly at them dismissing them for not being his version of entertaining. He tells the crowd some nonsense about a royal wedding not being an amusement but for history and he gestures at a 20-foot lion head. The mouth opens and out pops a theater troop of dwarfs dressed to represent the five kings of the war and Joffreys fake dominance over them. They ride mock-ups of their family sigils and perform essentially the highlights of the last four seasons including beheading Robb Stark and playing on Renly liking dudes. The entire act brings up genius level of discomfort and wholly insulting to mostly everyone at the wedding – Sansa, Tyrion, Margaery, Loras, Brienne, etc. In fact only Joffrey and Cersei seem to like this charade. Tommen, Joffreys younger brother, laughs briefly being too young to truly understand but he seems to stop when he looks at her uncle Tyrion and connects the dots. Tyrion looks supremely pissed and tells Podrick to pay each of the performers 20 gold and he’ll have to find a way to thank the king later. That bit of anger might come back to hurt him later.

This all wasn’t enough for Joffrey though and he focuses his worst traits on his uncle after this. He insists Tyrion fight the dwarfs and Tyrion is too prideful to not snark back he thinks Joffrey should do it considering he didn’t actually fight before and Tyrion would like to keep his face. Don’t poke the crazy asshole! Joffrey sets up to humiliate Tyrion but at every turn Tyrion rejects the humiliation such as calling Joffrey pouring his wine over his head a “spill”. Joffrey orders him to be his cup bearer and Tyrion calls it an honor. After some bullshit of Joffrey kicking his empty glass around so Tyrion has to struggle to pick it up they continue a back and forth with a mounting tension until Tyrion flat out refuses to bow before him. Note: Sansa actually helps her poor husband out a bit by retrieving the cup when he can’t find it under the table. It’s either meant to frame her or show her actually caring what he’s going through. Margaery, public relations extraordinaire, hilariously interrupts the stand off announcing the entrance of a giant pie. Of course Joffrey approaches the giant pastry with his new sword in hand, as though its a foe, and smacks into it ridiculously. Birds fly out of the opening, while a handful die inside from the sword blow – a metaphor for everyone on this show. Margaery feeds her husband some of the pie and he yells at Tyrion to give him more wine because the pie of dry. He gives him a re-filled goblet and he drinks. He coughs, takes another small sip of his wine, and begins to full on choke/cough way more. Margaery screams that he is choking. Olenna gets dramatic and begs someone in the crowd to help their king. Joffrey quickly begins to choke and panic as his face turns a vibrant red as Jamie rushes in trying to protect his secret son.

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Tyrion looks absolutely confused with this turn of events, and even Sansa looks worried. The core of these last moments gives me time to reflect on the sad fact that Joffrey is still but a boy who has never been told no, sure a dickhead but a young boy nonetheless. Dontos, the drunk fool, appears by Sansa on the podium and bids her to escape with him while it is still chaotic. Cersei is completely losing her mind as this is probably her worst nightmare coming true – right after not being queen that is. In his last moments, while being held by his mother Joffrey sickly points an accusatory finger at Tyrion who is literally standing alone in the middle of the stage holding the empty poisoned goblet looking extremely confused. Too bad Cersei obviously believes Tyrion is to blame because he blatantly the only one I’m sure didn’t have a hand in it. So murder mystery time! Sansa? Dontos? Olenna? Margeary? Other? Thoughts. My gut feeling is Olenna but that could be me just expecting her to do cool shit and reading way too much into her eyes.

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Whoever had the pleasure of poisoning Joffrey wins my VIOLENCE OF THE WEEK AWARD for sure. Anyone else both turned on and disgusted by Joffreys purple blood stained face and bloodshot googly eyes as he died? Just me?

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Popjunk Movies Podcast: Top 5 Side Characters you’d like to see in their own Movie.

•April 14, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Side5

Here’s a new episode back to the usual format of drinking, now playing and top 5.  I’ve had a few people ask me to do this so below will be show notes, the movies we’ve talked about in this episode, corrections to bullshit we said, etc.  Enjoy!

 

http://agrover81.podomatic.com/entry/2014-04-14T12_10_53-07_00

 

 

Top 5 Side Characters you’d like to see in their own movie.
What were we drinking.
Adam: Samuel Adams: Rebel IPA

Cory. Ellie’s Brown Dog Ale.

Evan: Samuel Smith’s Winter Welcome Ale
Now Playing: Bigger Faster Stronger: 2008 by Chris Bell. (Currently Streaming on Netflix Instant)
Heckler: 2007- Michael Addis (Currently Streaming on Netflix Instant)

Top 5 List.

Evan.
Dr. King Shultz-Django Unchained.
Merry & Pipen- The Lord of the Rings
Doc Holiday-Tombstone
Winston Wolf-Pulp Fiction (Streaming on Netflix)
Sitterson & Hadley-Cabin in the Woods (Streaming on Netflix)
Adam
Billy Bickle-Seven Psychopaths.
Williams & Ropper-Enter The Dragon.
Vincenzo Coccotti-True Romance
Winston Wolf-Pulp Fiction (streaming)
Cobra Kai- The Karate Kid (Not streaming, but the garbage cartoon from 1989 is.)

Honorable Mentions.
Charlie Prince- 3:10 to Yuma
Vincent- Collateral
Kuato-Total Recall.
Lucas Lee- Scott Pilgram vs. The World
Ernie McCracken -Kingpin

Corrections:

Marshell Bell who played Kuato in Total Recall: Not Dead, sorry dude.

Julia Sweeney was in Pulp Fiction. Jane Curtain was an awful guess.
David Wooderson-Dazed and Confused should have made my list and Billy Bickle should have been honorable mention.

 

Game Of Thrones – S4 – E1 “Two Swords” A Game of Thrones Reviewcap By Sagebeth

•April 8, 2014 • Leave a Comment

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It’s backkk! Welcome back for another season of boobies, blood, and some of the best television cinema I’ve ever experienced. It was a lovely episode in general supremely confident in delivering on all/most of the plotlines. The dialogue was great, the scene’s sharp, and tension was glorious. Within the following you can expect a recap of what went down, some speculation, as well as a few book details to highlight what exactly we saw. Also everyone’s favorite title sequence has changed again to include the Dreadfort which is the Bolton estate where Ramsey Snow is keeping Theon. Also they showed the slave city of Meereen where Dany is headed to do some quality sacking. Now lets start at the beginning:

THAT TIME TYWIN STEPPED OUT OF THE SHADOWS TO THE RAINS OF CASTAMERE FOR THE 987TH TIME
“A one-handed man with no family needs all the help he can get” -Tywin on giving Jaime a sword
The hour had a cold open highlighting Eddard Starks family sword “Ice”. It isn’t just any sword but made of Valyrian steel which cannot even be made anymore and in fact there are only three dudes who can actually melt them down and re-forge them correctly. Thankfully, while still riding high on the murders of most of the Starks, Tywin has ‘Ice’ re-forged into two other swords to belong to the Lannisters’ who are in need of their own. After seemingly using the power of his stare to melt the greatsword, he throws a wolf pelt on the flames for good measure. Was it Neds old cloak? Greywind’s own pelt (Robb’s direwolf)? I don’t know but Tywin seems mighty pleased with it.
At least one of the swords is being gifted to Jamie in the next scene and even though he’s shaved his beard and washed off the grim he is still the new and improved Jamie we remember from last season. That is a Jamie who is sick of breaking oaths and promises, and probably misses his honor a bit. This is Jamie who is taking his queues from Brienne. Also lets note how dickish Tywin is for giving his HANDLESS son a sword. It’s like getting him new mittens and expecting him to wear both. Also, naturally Tywin wants something in return and that is for Jamie to go to their home Casterly Rock and rule in his place – This is something Jamie should never be able to do as a Kings Guard but Tywin wants Joffrey to excuse him noting his missing hand. But this is new Jamie and that last thing he wants to do is break yet another oath (even with a sort of honorable discharge) so he tells Tywin something he is not used to hearing: No. Tywin questions what Jamie actually wants and hilariously its supper. Jamie takes this as a win, as seen by his snide smile as he walks away from his father.

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Later on Cersei drinks and watches as Jamie is fitted with a golden hand on his stump by the disgraced Maester Qyburn. It’s nice but also a sad attempt of Cersei trying to make him whole again in a way he simple won’t be. It’s also fun to speculate what ailment Qyburn helped Cersei with – unwanted pregnancy? Std? Guesses? It’s as if she knows he’s changed but unfortunately she is one area he hasn’t changed. Hilarious side-note: Jamie waves goodbye to Qyburn with his new hand. Jamie loves his sister and the second they are alone he tries to bone down but she rebuffs him and we learn she has been doing this since he has returned to the city. Cunt. He just wants some genuine love from her and Cersei seems so over him. She explains in a completely nonsensical cruel way why she just can’t: He took too long getting back to her. I reiterate: Cunt. Jamie is at least smart enough to assume shes sleeping with Qyburn – That is how Cersei gathers power right? With her vagina.

THAT TIME NEW CHARACTERS WERE AS INTERESTING AS OLD ONES
“Long sword is a bad option in close quarters. When I pull my blade your friend is going to bleed quite a lot I’m afraid. So many bones in the wrist.” -Oberyn FTW
Waiting on the road for the prince of Dorne (the southern most kingdom of Westros) to arrive to King’s Landing we catch up with Tyrion, Bron, and Podrick. When the Dorne arrival party gets there the Prince is notably missing from the parade. A swarmy member of the party informs us that Prince Doran Martell did not come due to his health so his younger brother Prince Oberyn came instead. Awesomely he arrived wicked early not a fan of the ceremony as well as the Lannisters in general, and is currently in one of the cities brothels with his paramour Ellaria Sand. Sweetly she wastes no time informing that audience that she is a bastard and a base-born making her an insane choice of date especially for a King’s wedding but Oberyn doesn’t give a shit and its cool as hell. This cute spicy sexual couple are browsing the brothel for some extra lovemaking partners which extends to both men and women. Unfortunately we don’t get any foursome action as they are interrupted by the Lannister theme, The Rains of Castamere, being sung by a soldier in another room. Oberyn’s blood legitimately boils at the song and he drops everything to go investigate it. He enters the room, where the soldier is lamely serenading a whore on his lap with the tune. The prince approaches them, his hand sliding over the flame of a candle in the coolest way, and proceeds to quickly gain the upper hand over the Lannister soldier who he stabs through the wrist. Sweet. Ellaria steps in now, trying to reign her lover in by passionately making out with him as his victim spurts blood. This is about when Tyrion finds him, who has been rushing all over the city trying to find him before he can kill anyone, and politely asks for an audience. Prince Oberyn brings on the exposition here: His older sister Elia was the last dragons, Prince Rhagar Targaryn’s wife and they shared two children. This is the same Prince Rhagar who absconded or ran away with Lyanna Stark sparking Robert’s rebellion which was the building blocks of the first season. When Tywin Lannister finally sided with Robert toward the end of the rebellion he sacked King’s Landing and while Jamie killed the mad king, Gregor or The Mountain is said to have brutally killed Elia’s children in front of her, raped her, and then split her in two with his sword. Heavy. So essentially Oberyn flat out admits he is there for revenge which is one of the ballsiest things ever done on this show. “The Lannister’s aren’t the only ones who pay their debts” he intones. Gulp. Take anyone but Tyrion and Jamie!

THAT TIME CGI DRAGONS LEFT ME AWESTRUCK
“They say a thousand slaves died making the great pyramid of Meereen” -fuel to light Dany’s fire
Yay Dragon-kitties! Big dragon-kitties! Dany relaxes with her fave dragon and largest, Drogon as her other kiddies play tug of war with a goat carcass in mid-air. It gets even better as they drop it near Drogon and he joins the eating frenzy. Dany foolishly tries to calm him down by touching him when hes greedily eating and he snaps at her. Shes surprised. Ugh. Dany I love you and hate you. Of course Ser Jorah sees this whole thing go down because hes watching her – why wouldn’t he be?! He approaches and reminds her that they are damn dragons and cannot be tamed.
Later she goes to meet with her army and is annoyed to find both Daario and Greyworm missing from the morning meeting. So she goes to find them ‘gambling’ or rather having some sort of survivor immunity challenge involving holding their swords with their forearms for hours on end. Also can we note that Daario is a totally different actor with completely different features then the last? I like the new guy better though if only because he doesn’t resemble Fabio. Dany lets them know how super annoyed she is so later on Daario does some much needed repair work to their little flirtationship. He gives her some local flowers as both a romantic gift but telling her it is under the pretense of teaching her about the local culture. He tells her if she wants them to follow her she must become a part of their world. I have to wonder if having a massive army and dragons is a free pass to not joining their world. But who cares because it was just an excuse for Daario is flirt with her. Sadly this short happiness cannot last as she is called to the front of her army as they march on Meereen. There is a crucified little slave girl set up as a mile marker pointing toward Meereen. The slave masters from there have heard about Dany and posted this as a warning to the Khalessi. In a move of extreme overkill they apparently have set one up a mile apart on their march to the city, making that 163 little bodies. Her advisers want to have someone go ahead and bury each dead slave but Dany wants to see everyone of their god damn faces because is there is one thing Dany does well is rage up and breath metaphorical fire while letting her babies breath real fire. Why on earth would they wind her up like this? Don’t they know who they are screwing with? Kill these assholes Dany.

THAT TIME SHEA THOUGHT PIGEON PIE WAS APPETIZING
“Your mother on the other hand – I admired her. She wanted to have me executed but I admired her.”-Tyrion
Sansa is eternally sad due to her families demise and its utterly expected but what I didn’t expect was for her too be so sad she doesn’t want to eat any lemon cakes. BLASPHEMY. Tyrion is bummed too because he cannot help her and seeing him doesn’t exactly help her. She ends up peace-ing out to go sit in the Godswood where at least no one will try to talk to her. Jokes on her though because someone is in fact there watching and following her. It’s frightening until we realize its just the court fool: Ser Dontos who Joffrey tried to drown with wine on his nameday in season two. He gifts her with the last bit of luxury from his dead house: a family heirloom necklace which she ends up promising to wear.
Back in Tyrion’s bedroom Shea is reverting to her whore roots and trying to desperately sex Tyrion who truthfully doesn’t want any of that right now. He sort of respects Sansa, his family is trying to kill him, Oberyn wants to kill all of them, and Shea shouldn’t even be in his room. He’s trying to severally separate himself emotionally from her fearing for her safety still. She impossibly doesn’t understand this still and seems extremely jealous of Sansa. Shea stop being annoying and try being smart. Love is sacrifice you whore. Ofcourse this is also when one of Cersei’s spies catches sight of them.

THAT TIME MEAT TASTED BETTER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WALL
“If that boy is still walking, it’s cause you let him go”-Giantsbane
Unexpectedly we catch up with Ygritte, Tormond, and some of the wildlings preparing to march on the wall. Ygritte is harshly making arrows probably imagining shooting them at her ex-lover Jon Snow but a hint at her still active love for the boy is apparent after Tormond explains that Jon wouldn’t be alive if she didn’t want him alive. Their little spat is interrupted by another crew of wildlings coming through their camp. These aren’t any friendly wildlings though but a separate tribe called the Thenns. The wildlings we know and love seem extremely weary of their comrades in arms. The Thenns seem obsessed with weight until we got the big reveal at the end of the scene: They are cannibals. Take that Walking Dead! Just when you thought you had something on G.O.T. they threw down the cannibal card before you could.

THAT TIME THE WALL WAS MANNED BY HEADLESS MEN
“You’re better than me at everything – except reading”-Samwell on Jon
Now no longer bleeding from his fight with Ygritte, Jon slightly mourns the loses at the Red Wedding. He intones his old jealousies of his brother Robb but he would never want something like the Red Wedding to actually happen. Samwell chimes in here that he can relate because of his jealousy toward Jon. I missed these two friends getting some actual one on one time. Note: I wonder if the Thenns will ever get a look at Samwell and just start salivating. Back on track Jon must answer to the Nights Watch command for his actions last season: Killing the Halfhand, joining the wildlings, sleeping with a girl. They want to hang him but Jon for the first time doesn’t seem to care and only intones a warning of the massive army coming to attack them. He’s been through so much and a bunch of mean old men no longer scare him. A fun face in the crowd is the ex-commander of the City watch in Kings Landing who betrayed Ned Stark and way run out of town by Tyrion. Jon should thank Maeter Aemon for dismissing him and believing his story considering everyone else is still pissed. There was also a fun bit about Aemon being able to tell lies from truth because he grew up in Kings Landing.

THAT TIME JAMIE TOLD BRIENNE SHE WAS A LANNISTER
“I broke Stannis on the Blackwater” -Joffrey being insane
Luckily we got to chime in with the Queen of Thornes and almost-queen Margaery while they try to find the perfect necklace for the wedding. Being very funny Margaery quips that she should let Joffrey choose it for her and have it be a chain of dead sparrow heads around her neck. HAHAHA. This is about when Brienne make her entrance, towering over them earning a well placed “My word” from Olenna. This is when Brienne tells Margaery about the shadow-stannis from way back when. Margaery rightfully forgives and tells her Joffrey is king now.
We got a quick look at a crazy amazing statue in the gardens at the Red Keep featuring Joffrey standing victorious over a dead Direwolf and then we transition to Joffrey in the flesh trying on wedding outfits standing the same exact overly victorious way that only this little shit can. Hahaha. Jamie is there to give his secret son the details of his protection plan for his upcoming wedding. Joffrey dumbly thinks no one would dare want to harm him because they know he saved them and the city by ‘winning the war’ that he didn’t fight in. Ugh. Jamie is getting this shit from all sides today isn’t he? Joffrey goes on to throw sand in the wound by opening The White Book which functions as a book of biographies for every single Kingsguard and all of their good deeds. He namedrops a few before settling on Jamie’s tiny paragraph of a page and reminding his uncle/father that he has only one hand now and surely cannot do anything else. Cunt. “How can you protect me with that?!” Joffrey sneers and in yet another awesome move Jamie shows incredible restraint and notes that there is still time for more accomplishments. Why is almost his entire family acting like he cut off his hand for fun!? Jamie you better be rethinking the fruits of your twincest.
Later on, probably getting some much air Jamie is sort of attacked again and this time by Brienne so its less hurtful. She wants Jamie to keep his pledge to Catelyn concerning saving her daughters so Brienne’s promise is actually kept as well. She fears for her own honor as well as his own. Jamie smartly thinks this is difficult considering Sansa is now a Lannister and he assumes Arya most likely dead. You know what they say about assuming?

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THAT TIME POLLIVER WAS JUST KEEPING THE KINGS PEACE… HONEST
“Little lady wants a pony?”-Sandor
Now comes everyone’s favorite segment from this new episode and that is some quality Arya and Hound hijinks. Arya is sick of riding cutely on the same horse as the Hound but he doesn’t want her to run away with her own. Arya smartly lets him know that she’d be dumb to leave him considering he’s protecting her knowing she’d most likely die without him. We also find out he has a new plan for her now that Catelyn is dead, he’s decided to bring Arya to the Vale so her aunt Lysa can pay him for her. Would Lysa do that? I wonder if she is even crazier. This is the same lady who was breast feeding a grown child. Anyway this twosome is super hungry and when they reach a tavern they find some Lannister soldiers busy stealing chickens and molesting the Tavern owners daughter. Lovely. Arya recognizes one of the men as Polliver, a villain who took her sword needle (calling it a toothpick) back when she was taken captive in season two. He was the dude who killed her friend by slowly stabbing him in the neck when he was incapacitated by leg injuries. Arya sees red but the Hound does not want to fight all five men while being so hungry. Arya wants blood though and somehow coaxes the Hound into following her to the door where they are caught arguing. Now in sight of the men they slowly enter the tavern. Tension rises.
Polliver recognizes the Hound and starts bragging about all the horrible shit he’s been doing in the Lannister name for the war. Awesomely the Hound begins to dance around him verbally, pressing all of the guys buttons because he wants the chicken they stole from the Tavern owner. He definitely wants to kill them but he also wants Polliver to make the first move. Finally the fight starts and Arya dodges the fray but watches looking for her moment. As the Hound takes on all five men the soundtrack is absolutely silent and its not until Arya makes her move that the music comes into play. She smashes a pot over one of the hurt mens heads, takes his sword and slowly stabs him in the gut and then she takes said sword and swipes at the back of Polliver’s legs incapacitating him. Now laying defenseless on the ground, Arya takes back Needle and utters the same line he told her injured friend back in season two before slowly pushing Needle into his throat. SICK! This wins in a tie for VIOLENCE OF THE WEEK with The Hound somehow stabbing a man with his own knife in the face several times. Sick. Awesome. Gruesomely cool. Arya firmly sociopathic now literally beams with joy at her kill.

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Afterward they ride on in their journey with The Hound hilariously indulging on the stolen chicken while Arya genuinely smiles with ease. Needle is at her side and she got her much wanted pony plus she totally killed some men. That has to be like an Arya dream day. The fields around the road burn as these two move forward in their journey.

AND SCENE
Did you want to hear from more people? Bran? Theon? Stannis? I’m guessing next week and I’m fine with that. Until next time fiends.

Retro Junk: Rocky 4

•April 8, 2014 • Leave a Comment

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Here’s the second of our 2 part Stallone episode as we discuss how Rocky used 80′s pop music fueled montages to take down the Iron Curtain and end the cold war. Enjoy!

http://agrover81.podomatic.com/entry/2014-04-08T13_26_33-07_00512447592f2679d5194ad3dcd2078b41

 
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